Google, Out! Google's genius? Out, out brief candle!

clip_image002MANILA: Paghahanap, Mga Larawan, Mga Mapa.

Is Google trying to make me a nationalist by imposing the Tagalog (Filipino) language on me? No, thank you, I'm not a Tagalog nationalist; I'm an Ilocano nationalist!

I hate Google talking to me with its Tagalog menu by default. To the Google mind who thought of language menus, like Filipino for Filipinos, here's a dose of your own medicine:

Denggennak: Kayatmo nga sawen, nalalaingka ngem siak? Birukek ti Tagalog no kayatko, saannmo nga ipapilit kaniak! Ania nga gapu nga aramatek ti Tagalog menu ket English ti kayatko nga sapulen, ala ibagamman kaniak?! "Lukdit ti aso nga kadapdapo," as kuna ni Lakay Disiong nga amangko idi. Apay nga ilakom kaniak ti Filipino ket Filipinoak? Uray koma ngem nagalas met, di nga umno ti translationmo. Leppasem nga basaen daytoy tapno maammuam no kasano ti kinalaingmo. Ania ngarud ti riknam itatta nga agbasbasaka iti dimo matarusan wenno dimo kayat?

That describes in my language my personal battle against the intrusion of Google's Tagalog (Filipino) menu in my Internet browsing, in one word, frustrating, to be nice about it.

Routinely, I use 4 browsers: Google Chrome, Mozilla Firefox, Opera and Safari, but more of the last 2. I seldom use Internet Explorer. Safari is fast, and I like the Speed Dial of Opera. I use Yahoo for searching, but when I want many more results, I resort to Google Search.

Lately, Google has been bothering me, pestering me with its Pinoy (Tagalog or Filipino) menu as default:

+Frank A / Paghahanap / Mga Larawan / Mga Mapa / YouTube /
Gmail / Drive / Calendar / Pagsasalin / Higit Pa

Yes, I'm Pinoy, but it doesn't mean I like to read Tagalog (Filipino): I don't! Not in the Internet. (Not even in the papers.)

I browse with Safari, and I get that Pinoy menu. I hate that Google Pinoy menu!

I browse with Opera, and I get that Pinoy menu. I loathe that Google Pinoy menu!

I browse with Mozilla Firefox, and I get that Pinoy menu. I abhor that Google Pinoy menu!

I browse with Google Chrome, and I get that Pinoy menu. I detest that Google Pinoy menu!

I just tried Internet Explorer, and I got that pesky Pinoy menu. I despise that Google Pinoy menu!

That Google Pinoy menu as default is the fault of Google, and I can't forgive Google.

That is to say, Google has made Tagalog (Filipino) the default language when it's "doing service" to Filipinos. What is Google trying to prove here: That Filipino surfers prefer the Tagalog language when they're surfing? Google is doing a great disservice to me, a Filipino. I prefer English! When in Rome, do what the Romans do when they're surfing: Use the English language.

And by the way, those Google Pinoy translations are bad:

Paghahanap does not have the many shades of meaning that the verb Search has (American Heritage Dictionary): to look over carefully, investigate, scrutinize, find something lost, learn. Google wants me, a Filipino, not to learn too much!

Mga Larawan means Pictures, which is limited and therefore is not as wide in meaning as Images. There is no equivalent term in Filipino for Images, and Mga Larawan is a lazy mind's choice.

Mga Mapa means Maps, which is absolutely correct, but the Filipino does not have a culture of mapmaking, so Mapa is just a sound while even Grade Schoolers know what is a Map.

Pagsasalin means Translation, but it's a word that is seldom used, while any Filipino will say, "i-translate mo, friend" (Translate it, friend).

Higit Pa means Much More, which refers to Quality, and is therefore the wrong translation of More, which refers to Quantity.

Did you notice that the Pinoy genius of Google cannot translate the YouTube button? He's obtuse to even try! Neither Gmail. He's oafish to even try. Neither Drive. He's dense to even try!

So why translate all those Google buttons in the first place - because Google wants to say "We love you, Filipinos?" I doubt that very much!

English is so much more intelligent and variable. Did you notice above that I could use so many synonyms for hate - loathe, abhor, detest, despise? And so many synonyms to describe the Google Pinoy translator as unintelligent - obtuse, oafish, dense? I love the English language!

Google doesn't know that when I surf, I don't want Tagalog intruding into my searches, or Google doesn't care if it bothers the Ilocano that I am, the Bicolano that you are, or Pangasinense, or Pampango, or Ilonggo, or Waray, or Cebuano, or Muslim that you are.

Google doesn't know that when I surf, I want to know what people are thinking and doing all over the world, and English is my ticket. Why should I search in Tagalog when I want the results in English?!

Google doesn't know that when I surf, English is just the ticket I need! The Google Pinoy menu is my one-way ticket to Purgatory. Google doesn't think that its Pinoy menu is a hot ticket; it is, yes, to Hell. Google in English is my meal ticket to erudition. The Google Pinoy menu is a round-trip ticket to nowhere! I wouldn't be caught in traffic and get a ticket surfing with a Google Pinoy menu.

By giving me those desperate Tagalog translations, Google is a language imposer, or impostor, in my own country. I dislike imposers and impostors in or out of my own country.

For wider searches, I will continue to use Google Search (not Paghahanap), but that Pinoy menu will continue to bother me. I hope that now they also bother Google Pinoy translators! If they can be bothered at all.

There was the time, 10 May 2006, or exactly 7 years today, when I wrote in the American Chronicle the essay "Google is genius. Or, the Soul of MSN, Yahoo Trails & Language of Internet Searches" ( I was wrong, right? That was the genius that was.

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